The past day or so has been emotional at best as I have had to let go of someone that I treasured. Grandpa has earned his wings and is reunited with Grandma again. As I have sat and cried I realize that although I am mourning the passing of a gentle man that deposited so much into my life. I am really mourning the beginning of my walk with God, my examples that were set before me and the pillars that I could lean on when times were rough. There was never a time that I couldn't call to ask their opinion and I did have to ask, or just to have a piece of home by hearing them say "now, sis". Those moments are only memories that I will treasure forever. Never again will I see that determination of trying to tune his fiddle so he could play.
He was onry and stubborn no doubt about that! We have all seen that and sometimes have been on the wrong end of that. Yet there is no doubt that even that will be missed. I am so blessed for all the times we spent talking, praying, going to church, singings, and just sitting on the front porch swing popping beans. Never again, but forever in my dreams. I am most thankful for teaching me to pray and communicate with God. Not just a hey this is what I need or this is what I want, but true two sided communication. Hours and hours of hearing each name in the family called before the throne of God and not in judgement, but unconditional love. Thank you Grandpa and Grandma for always being there for me. I love and treasure you both. Rest in the arms of God.
I am struggling though spiritually. Will I really make it? Will I see them again? Who will love me like them? Was my walk with God because of them? I am sure that this is all part of the grieving process and that I will come through the other side smiling and positive of the answers I seek. I don't weep for them being gone, but for my selfishness of missing them now that they are. God i ask for your help in being the fruit of the seeds they have planted.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
CHANGES
As seasons come and seasons go, so the heart on it's journey here below. This morning as I was getting ready to face my week and all that it entails. I seen that I had missed a phone call and had a voicemail. As I listened to the voicemail, tears sprang to my eyes. I could hear the words, but could not really comprehend. Since I am on a two hour time difference I had to wait and digest the fact that Grandpa is preparing to go home. I am sad, but so relieved that he will be out of pain and will be able to breathe again in heaven. Yet, I miss my family during these times. And so until the end I pray for peace and comfort for Grandpa J.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Hope
I want you to just think for a moment what does the word HOPE mean to you.
For some hope may be a ray of sunshine through a prison window or a deal on something they really need or the truth in the midst of a lie or the sight of a boat when you are lost at sea or seeing something with a different perspective, whatever it is, it is still HOPE.
While I was praying this week I was quickened to the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love and of a sound mind. As I meditated on this I sensed the frustration of the Lord over how we present things in His name. We speak of all the things occuring in the world around us and how they are prophecy of the scriptures and that we need to be prepared, yet are we invoking fear to those that lack understanding in these areas? The truth is that God loves us and if we are his, that he will protect us and that he will provide and give us peace and be our advocate. We need to be careful not to speak fear and call it God because the scripture plainly states that God is not the author of it. I do believe that it is our responsibilty to speak without fear or favor and that some do need to see that this life is not forever, I just want it to be done with the hope of God and not the fear of man. Romans 10:15 says And how shall they preach except they be sent? as it is written beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace and bring glad tidings of good things! We as the body of Christ need to bring peace in the midst of trouble and the good news of Jesus Christ, a Savior in a dying world. The media doesn't help all. All they portray is death, destruction, pain, and the bible is plain that the Devil only comes to steal, kill and destroy. So I ask you this is their message of God or the Devil? Yes, it is as simple as that. It is one or the other. Maybe it's time to trun off the news, whether the radio or tv, and search for some Hope. Hope that is eternal, everlasting, love of a father that will never leave you or forsake you. No matter what you are going through. I want you to see yourself through God's eyes. No matter what he loves you. So today in the midst of chaos, unrest, hate, fear, and all that Satan thinks he has for you. I am sending you hope, love, peace joy, kindness. Seek God while he may be found. He is waiting for you.
For some hope may be a ray of sunshine through a prison window or a deal on something they really need or the truth in the midst of a lie or the sight of a boat when you are lost at sea or seeing something with a different perspective, whatever it is, it is still HOPE.
While I was praying this week I was quickened to the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love and of a sound mind. As I meditated on this I sensed the frustration of the Lord over how we present things in His name. We speak of all the things occuring in the world around us and how they are prophecy of the scriptures and that we need to be prepared, yet are we invoking fear to those that lack understanding in these areas? The truth is that God loves us and if we are his, that he will protect us and that he will provide and give us peace and be our advocate. We need to be careful not to speak fear and call it God because the scripture plainly states that God is not the author of it. I do believe that it is our responsibilty to speak without fear or favor and that some do need to see that this life is not forever, I just want it to be done with the hope of God and not the fear of man. Romans 10:15 says And how shall they preach except they be sent? as it is written beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace and bring glad tidings of good things! We as the body of Christ need to bring peace in the midst of trouble and the good news of Jesus Christ, a Savior in a dying world. The media doesn't help all. All they portray is death, destruction, pain, and the bible is plain that the Devil only comes to steal, kill and destroy. So I ask you this is their message of God or the Devil? Yes, it is as simple as that. It is one or the other. Maybe it's time to trun off the news, whether the radio or tv, and search for some Hope. Hope that is eternal, everlasting, love of a father that will never leave you or forsake you. No matter what you are going through. I want you to see yourself through God's eyes. No matter what he loves you. So today in the midst of chaos, unrest, hate, fear, and all that Satan thinks he has for you. I am sending you hope, love, peace joy, kindness. Seek God while he may be found. He is waiting for you.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
A Frozen State of Mine
I do believe that I am in the movie "Groundhog Day". Just when I think we are done we have more snow. We have had lots and lots of snow this year. I have enjoyed my days off with the girls and have even come to accept the fact that my bank account will never be the same. Having said all of that, I still love the snow...
The white is beautiful and reminds me of the old hymn "What can make me white as snow, Nothing but the blood of Jesus". Oh to be pure like that.
There is a silence that comes with snow. Almost like ear muffs on your ears. And a calm that blankets the world around us. We see the trees in our yards as beautiful again and the paw prints of animals trying to find food.
I have a series of photos of individual snowflakes and each one is so very intricate and unique. Yet when we look at a pile all we see is snow and not the flakes. Sometimes I think that is how our perception with the world is we see a group of people, but not the individuals.
Snow also brings warmth. The warmth of a fire to remove the chill from the air. The warmth of laughter as you sled down a hill together and build a snowman. The warmth of hot cocoa after playing outside.
When we are stuck inside we take the time to play games and talk about our lives. Something we are usually too busy to do on a regular basis.
So my hope is that even in the midst of all this snow. That we appreciate what God has given us, even if it does mess up a few of our plans.
The white is beautiful and reminds me of the old hymn "What can make me white as snow, Nothing but the blood of Jesus". Oh to be pure like that.
There is a silence that comes with snow. Almost like ear muffs on your ears. And a calm that blankets the world around us. We see the trees in our yards as beautiful again and the paw prints of animals trying to find food.
I have a series of photos of individual snowflakes and each one is so very intricate and unique. Yet when we look at a pile all we see is snow and not the flakes. Sometimes I think that is how our perception with the world is we see a group of people, but not the individuals.
Snow also brings warmth. The warmth of a fire to remove the chill from the air. The warmth of laughter as you sled down a hill together and build a snowman. The warmth of hot cocoa after playing outside.
When we are stuck inside we take the time to play games and talk about our lives. Something we are usually too busy to do on a regular basis.
So my hope is that even in the midst of all this snow. That we appreciate what God has given us, even if it does mess up a few of our plans.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Genesis...A New Beginning
This is a new thing for me. I have many friends that blog and it has intrigued me for awhile. So I have decided to give this a try for myself. Please bear with me as I journey down this new path. I hope to use this as a tool to encourage others, while helping myself to work through things. Please feel free to comment. And so here we go ....
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